I hate divorce.

June 24, 2009 at 9:54 am · Filed under family, parentunity and tagged: ,

I hate divorce.

It cripples children for years, leaves them scarred and hurt. They are the silent victims of every failed marriage.

At the root of most divorces is a selfishness that is ungodly… its seed is evil and its fruit is bitter.

So, on the day you marry, when you commit yourself to love one another, to cherish one another, to serve one another… ‘til death do us part’… do not take your vows lightly. If you are blessed to be entrusted with a child to rear, the most important thing you can do to create a healthy family is to have a healthy marriage.

Do not abandon them to divorce.

Divorce cripples children. It is emotional abuse.

Instead, cherish your spouse. Serve them with everything you have. Lay down your needs and wants for that of your beloved. Leave no stone unturned in loving them. You will find this possible when you honor God in your marriage. Make Him the center of your relationship and He will create a Godly home through you.

Follow His example and die to yourself. Die every single day. Pick up your cross in the morning and follow Jesus. Follow Him as one on a path to glory.

Be Glory. Be sacrificial. Be loving. Be encouraging. Be Christ-like.

When you do these things and honor God in your relationship you will become the parents that God would have you be. You will be more than mommy or daddy; you will be a spiritual leader in your home.

Most importantly, you will be family.

A family centered on Christ… and Christ cannot be divided or divorced.

6 Comments »

  Marital problems involving children | Help My Marriage wrote @ June 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm

[...] Divorce and children [...]

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  Sandy Rodery wrote @ June 27, 2009 at 7:27 am

Thank you for saying this. This is pure truth. We are seeing it alot lately and it makes me ill every time one of our families makes this choice.
We need to pray for protection on our families.

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  Blog Patrol (June 30, 2009) « Dad In The Middle wrote @ July 1, 2009 at 5:36 am

[...] I hate divorce. [...]

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  TJ Crawford wrote @ July 27, 2009 at 10:47 pm

I hate divorce too….. Before I turned 11, my mom was married and divorced 3 times. By time I got married, I had no idea what I was doing–Needless to say, that too ended in divorce, leaving my 2 children in the cycle of victimization.

God is so faithful to his word! He orchestrated my life in ways, so intricate and detailed–allowing me to turn my hurt and ignorance into passion and a message of hope.

As an adult, I’ve been involved in divorce recovery for children for the last 4 1/2 years. I’ve been a National Trainer for a ministry called DivorceCare for Kids (DC4K). DC4K is a 13 week Christ centered recovery ministry that helps children process the grief of divorce.

From that birthed my own organziation called Beyond the Behavior. I teach and train those who teach and train kids–primarily those who have out of control behaviors. 99% of those children come from divorced or never-been-married households.

We blame the kids problems on ADD/ADHD, or ODD or television or whatever else we can find. But the stress that kids have to go through because of divorce is so catastrophic–and is actually a traumatic event for most kids.

We see the indicators of disconnected families in our society, and the divorce rate is growing. Over 2 million children every year experience divorce. This doesn’t include familes that never even marry but co-habit. The effects of the end of those relationships is the same as experiencing divorce. It’s absolutely amazing what our selfishness is doing to these kids. And this includes Christians—our divorce rate is actully higher than that of the secular world…prety scary.

On a personal note, I just picked up my kids from the airport yesterday. They spent 3 weeks with their dad in Texas. I’m dealing with the emotions of them loving and being devoted to two parents, to two families, to two sets of values, to two completely different worlds. They are confused and guilty and happy and sad all at the same time.

I concur. I hate divorce!

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  ThankGod ForGrace wrote @ August 1, 2009 at 10:16 am

Coming from somebody currently going through a divorce, I could no longer sacrifice my childrens emotional stability by forcing them to stay in the same house of my husband just so we could stay legally married. I have been a follower of Christ all my life and it is one of the most difficult things I ever had to do…file for divorce. However, to stay married would have been much for “crippling for by children. And, it would have been “emotional abuse” to NOT divorce. So, be careful what you say…as a minister who thinks he will never end up divorced, it is easy to say such. However, I thought I would never end up divorcing either…my husband even wanted to be a missionary. Sometimes people have to get divorced to SAVE their lives and the lives of their children emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In Mark 10:5, the Bible states that it is a concession for hardhearted wickedness. So, I would suggest being slow to judge and criticize people going though divorce….instead, help them through it and be supportive of them getting out of what could be a much worst situation for their kids and family.

ThankGod ForGrace

Reply
  Michael wrote @ August 1, 2009 at 11:52 am

I understand your situation and have no judgment for you or your family. Sorry if you read that into my post. My perspective is as one who was emotionally scarred from divorce as a child.
When I say I hate divorce, it is because I suffer from those scars daily.
My prayers are with you and your children. If I can do anything to serve you, please let me know.
We live in a fallen world. Thank God for His grace.

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